just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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