We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize