Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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