never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
