I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
