Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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