she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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