well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
