i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
