one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
