Umm I'm too high to move.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
