Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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