Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize