She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize