U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
