i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
