Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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