idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
