Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
