the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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