Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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