Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
