So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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