The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
