Will you blow on my dice?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
