I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
