absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
