He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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