you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
