Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
