The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
