Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize