he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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