dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
