is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
