I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize