Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
