I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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