Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
this hospital has no fireball
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
