69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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