i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
