he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
