Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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