I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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