He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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