Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize