I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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