Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
