All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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