i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize