now i know why i became what i already was.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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