ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize