I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize