i wish my penis had a tongue
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
