so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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