I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize