so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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