College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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