i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
