It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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