Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
