So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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