Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
How's work?
Spinning.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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